a year

Can a year change a person's life forever?

I've been very confused and disoriented for the past two days. I spent a night at a Indian corner shop with Fabs just to reflect to the past. Just like a tradition. It could be the only time I ever let my guard down and blurt every dissatisfaction, guilt and regrets that has been haunting my conscience.

At the end, a solution pop out from my wise friend. Don't be impatient. Instead progress your life slowly and give yourself a year to see the results.

sit down

The final weekend of 2007 has finally arrived. I want to spend the last days of the year in a quite environment to have some deep thoughts and thinking moments about next year. In reality, people are getting less and less time to actually sit down with themselves and to explore their deepest thoughts.

As I look back at the past, I would laugh at it for all the silly things that seems so clear to me now. I will learn from the past mistakes. Its because the choices of yesterday is what I'm today.

Broken wings are not easily healed. But if it does, it will soar into greater heights. I'm healing myself. I'm unwell and pessimistic at the moment. I need a few days to recover. I'm somehow afraid of something. I'm only human.

I've highlighted a few things that I would like to focus in year 2008.

1. Be my damned self

2. Friendship.

3. Family.

4. Business building.



I find that this are the 4 most important things to me right now. I will commit myself to focus and achieve it. Another two days to go. Happy New Year 2008.

just for laughs

My co-worker had a surprised when I asked him what is " 骄傲 ." Ei, i thought you are Chinese educated. Well, it's about a month for you to find out that I'm not.

I simply answered ,"I'm Baba". Then another hilarious conversation took place.

Coworker: Hmmm.. Baba ...oh mix with Malay wan"

Me : Yeah, but not all. We just adopt the culture. I'm still Chinese. Hokkien descendent's.

Coworker : Ya meh?You got join the Persatuan Hokkien? I think they also won't accept you. So, u adopt Malay culture. So, you got 'cut' there la.

Me :"Haih, what a misinform noob :/ " *the whisper of my head. No, I don't follow the religion. Just the culture.

Coworker : So, you eat with what?

Me : No , i eat with my mouth *sarcastically. Haha, with chopstick and fork and spoon of course. Sometimes with hands.

Coworker: So, what you pray?

Me : Guan Gong...

Coworker: Har..not Yap Ah loy?

Me : "Hope.less. I'm sure everyone here knows who is Yap Ah Loy"*

Coworker : So, is Baba Chinese?

Me : Yes, go and check wikipedia.

Coworker : Nolar, i dont think Baba is Chinese. It's a different race. That means your race is Baba as in the birth cert.

Me : Well then, why the f* I'm celebrating CNY for the past 23 years.* whispers of the brain. Well, you are Hokkien?

Coworker : Yes ,I am. * dengan bangga nya.

Me : So, do they put your race as Hokkien in your birth cert?

Co-worker: Errr...

Conclusion:?? Please provide me with one. Write in your comments.

P/s: I'm still in good terms with this fella. Just a small matter right?

Are you the director of your home made movie?

Merry Xmas everyone. Xmas this year was rather tiring, suffocating, breath taking and patience testing.

Has anyone actually seen a movie director at work? The world best directors are probably big names such as Peter Jackson and James Cameron to name them a few. They wrote the scripts, direct the scenes and compiling them into dramatic full length movies.

Are you the director of your home made movie? Whether it's a low or high budget is totally to us to decide. The point is, are you writing your own movie script, the movie about your life. Because most of the time these days, our life scripts and scenes are greatly influenced by other people, social norms, peers as well as economic status. If you don't write your own script, others will. Remember that. So, now...just stand up from the chair..walk towards your stationary case..grab a pen ..and start writing!!

questions??

Is there a way to make non-photogenic pictures look better?
Solution:

How can I remember names and numbers?
Solution:

How do I cook a low sodium stir fried vegetables without compromising the taste?
Solution:

How to make avoid being misunderstood?
Solution:

Happy birthday to me

I'm already 23!! Happy birthday to me!! This pictures were taken in Old Taste Cafe in Melaka Raya. This cafe serves good coffee, curry puffs and 'roti bakar' (toast). Together with me were my closest friends in Melaka. Thanks everyone for accompanying me.

"Don't be afraid to walk slowly rather be afraid of standing still" was a Chinese proverb I learned from my workplace. Every single small steps will make a difference when the time comes. Today will be the first step that I will take to embrace the new horizon. Let go of the past and seek a brighter future.

Friday 来たよ ! (came!)

Friday came and left with a surprising gift. I had a weird+unexpected+last minute Friday break. A thing to share is that always remember that although we are able to attain whatever we wish for in a blink of an eye, we could also loose it in a split second. Thus ,always remember the only constant that apply to this world is the world is ever changing. Law of Impermanence.

The movie I am Legend which was starred by Will Smith was okay. I'll give a fair B to the cinematic and plot lines. What really matters was the company. But it's a great movie for people who wish to understand the feeling and psychology of total loneliness, as well as the breaking point of human sanity when being the last surviving person on earth.

My best buddy forwarded this picture to me. It means I'm behaving badly for this past year. This was taken from dannychoo.com. Awesome site for otaku's.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

The resolutions for being a mid-20's since somebody insisted that I'm already 'old' has been made. A rather simple one for this year around. Instead of coming out with a painstaking list, How about a simple phrase which I ran through earlier this morning which is " to stand firm and endures no matter what."

thoughtLess

It's raining and cloudy deep inside. The tall towering buildings fills up the end of horizon. Everything is black and gray. The people are walking along the wet and cold sidewalk like ants. There are no trace of emotions or warmth in their faces. Just their cold expressions and black dark eyes. The rats and cats were running frantically towards the chilling slimy alley. The sunshine barely shine through the thick clouds. Rays of hope dimmers. I stood under the lamp post waiting for the cold rain to subside.

A chinese proverb

Don't be afraid of crawling slowly, be afraid of standing still.

Brain power

My working life requires me to utilize my left brain more often. The learning curve is much more steep than before and everything is so technical and tedious. More programming tools to learn. More new concepts to digest. I guess this is something which I call a short term gain.

There are many new faces that I met. I hope that I can adapt better and blend in. I'm trying to finish what I've started this week.

when a girl cry

One of the things that I dreaded most..is to see a girl cry.

To see the vulnerability in their eyes. It gets worst when they look directly into your eyes. It makes your heart feels...And it gets worst if you are the main reason she cried.

But, thank god I'm not the reason. :)

P/S: Making a girl cry for no reason is a taboo. :)

finishing what you have started

The thought of getting rid of bad habits finally came across me. I'm a good starter but a lousy finisher. I can think of thousand things to start like a new hobby, developing new skills, getting new acquaintance but it feels so hard to get things progressing to the end. Action will be taken soon.

The factory environment is easy and comfortable. Apart from the work load, life is convenient. Apart from technical skills and knowledge, there seem to be very little room for personal development. There's lots of rules and regulations that must be followed. There's never ending procedures and protocol as well to be taken note of.

Truce

The fur-ball has just reached a truce. He allows me to pat his head without biting my hands off.He allows me to shake his hands. Has he forgiven me ?

Can you be a person who is able to create miracles at will? Miracle man. Psychology studies indicate that people tend to limit their thinking ability as they aged. Try comparing a 4 year old kid and a 40 year old, and you will see a huge gap in thinking patterns. The things is..children think without restrictions and doesn't limit the thinking process simply on a logic basis. This actually enables them to think outside the box without being governed by a set of beliefs which actually restricts creativity. As a result, children are more likely to be more imaginative compared to pessimistic adults. So, ladies and gentlemen , take off that fake mask and let the kid roll out.

Stop aiming

Another weekend has just arrived. I'll be 23 next week. I guess I just need to embrace it because age adds up and never comes down. I'm just pondering who to celebrate with. Her sweet warm cheek's still in my mind. The bright side is that age adds up with wisdom. I'm more wise than I was last year..that's for certain.

The time for myself has been significantly reduced. I only have about 5 hours a day to do my personal things. Instead of having more time for myself, I found out that I'm spending the remaining time more on other people. The selflessness feeling.

I'm not complaining. Maybe it's a good thing after all. It drives me to do things right and efficiently. It encourages me to be more honest and decisive about myself. I still have no idea how to grow even more mature than present. But I'm sure there is a a way to it.

I'm currently trying my best to improve my Chinese literacy. I admit that my development has plateau for the past 8 years. I have to finish what I started. I'll be Chinese literate by July 2008. I no longer wish to give excuses that I can't read Chinese just because I didn't go to a Chinese medium school. Other side projects include learning " 不能说的秘密" by 周杰伦. Simple chords but challenging lyrics, I'd say.

To achieve a huge goal, you need to start hitting the smaller ones first. So keep shooting and stop aiming.

small world

The world is indeed small. I met people that I know here. I met people that I don't know but know me here.

The population of single and available ladies 'here' is like finding a piece of green bean in a big bag sack of spiky durians.

Where is 'here' anyway?

kaizen

Can kaizen be implemented in our own life? Before I move further, what does kaizen actually means? It means continuous improvement and was first adopted by automobile giant Toyota.

I got an opportunity to learn Tagalog, the native language of Philipines from a few co-workers. "Magandang araw" = good morning. And my favourite word "kumain" = eat.

First day

Take off to Muar via AMJ Expressway at 7am. T-minus 40 minutes.

Uninvited

Things happens to people when least expected. Good or bad.

November 2007 has waved her hands goodbye forever. I had a very quality time taking a near one month break in Melaka. Even though I lived like a pauper in November, I finally realized things that are very important in my life. It's turned not that the success that I hungered for over the years that I thought was so important, yet felt like it was unattainable by the current level was the only thing that matters. It made me realize why I actually feel that there was this big wall that's hindering me from breaking through. It made me realized why I'm actually denying myself to actually feel and listen as a person. It made me realized who are the important peoples in my life that I would care for. Some of the answers that I'm searching actually revealed by itself, uninvited. Even after when hope seems to fade away like a faint light at the end of a dark tunnel.

And thanks to the person with the therapeutically sweet cheek for brightening the dull day.

p/s: Subsequent posts will be short, simple , and vague.

A week without Humpty Dumpty

Humpty Dumpty is an egg. I really missed Humpty Dumpty for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Another day to go before I join the workforce. Getting things prepared physically ,spiritually and mentally.